Anxiety

Since I’ve been in Providence I have seen many friends leave to other schools, I was always one to wonder why they choose to attend school here and just pick up and leave mid school year. Sometimes I wouldn’t know about someone transferring until the school year started or I just stop seeing them altogether. But, I know now, that unlike me, they chose to not be unhappy anymore. Sometimes you realize a bit late how deep you are into something, and you don’t really have the option of starting over somewhere else. My first year of college was so great, I had so much fun and although there were some questionable times, where I debated my stay here, everything flowed together into a continuos learning experience that I found to be quite enjoyable. I remember that desperate feeling I use to get when I was home on break, the urge to come back and see my friends here in college. Now when I go back on break it feels as though the days spent home just fly by,it’s getting harder to come back each time. The difference between this year and last is my new living situation. I’m currently living with my friends from last year but everything is not what I had dreamed it would be. It turns out I am the clean one of the house and although in the beginning cleaning up after other people was no big deal it became obvious I was being taken advantage of. Now when I clean, my roommates indulge in the fresh atmosphere provided by your’s truly and the rest of the apartment remains uncleaned. Im so frustrated and every outsider I talk to tells me to speak up and let them know how I feel, I can bring myself to do so. Now I’m thinking that it’s time I start looking at alternatives like changing schools or making new friends, both which I find quite hard to do.