Growing Up

“That would be a good life experience,” was the sentence that started it all. As a kid when you’re just starting school your parents argued—to your knowledge or not—whether or not to send you to and from school on the bus. Crowded with kids, other kids you don’t know; other older kids you don’t know. Mom says she wants to dive her baby into school. But dad says, “It would be a good life experience.”  It’s as though being surrounded by the unfamiliar, by new situations, by different people is somehow supposed to trigger a life changing experience that will groom you for the better. But as a kid you never see it that way.

My father always made sure that I was pushed in the direction of “life experiences,” the good and the bad. These included, but are not limited to: Flying across the country by myself, living on Indian Reservations, exploring the forest of the west coast, swimming with sea turtles in the Caribbean, attending school in the southern land of sweet tea and boiled peanuts.  Attending after-school programs, academic programs, science fairs, career fairs, applying for jobs I never thought I would get.  These “experiences” were plainly and simply my life.  I thought the phrase, “that would be a good life experience,” was limited to adults, those who had experienced life in all its glory. 

I remember the first time I used that phrase. I was referring to my younger brother and his pending decision on whether or not to go to Guatemala for the summer. It was a winter afternoon, I was home for Christmas break, curled on the couch with a cup of tea and nonchalantly I turn to him and said, “Well, it would be a good life experience.” Later, within the next few days, Jessica and I met at our local coffee shop and bewildered I confessed that I used the strictly adults only phrase. Did that mean I was finally growing up?

Over the course of the next year I found myself using that phrase more loosely. I found myself using a wallet and discussing the job market and receiving W-2 forms in the mail and making pots of coffee before heading to class and slowly all the talk about my future melted into actions. All those “experiences” faded into real life. I’m finding myself standing in the gaping mouth of reality, and my small world of experiences is becoming my every day. And still, I am open and ready for all new experiences. It isn’t that adults have lived out every experience, they just know that one day you’re going to be served the world and you, we all, need to start with baby bites.

Hawley Out.

New Hampshire Getaway

Hawley here and fresh back from New Hampshire. Spent a week with my boyfriend, Erik, which was relaxing and has me ready to return to school in a week. It was bitter cold so we spent most of our time indoors drinking coffee (him) and tea (me) and watching movies. For my late birthday he surprised me with flowers and a backwards date, think desert first and after this post I'll be on my way to mail him his late birthday present, a copy of The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas.

Before leaving to get my "surprise," Erik told me to drink a whole bottle of ginger ale and to set a timer for 20 minutes. He walked out wearing dress pants, a dress shirt, and vest. I was massively confused when he wouldn't tell me where he was going, but wonderfully surprised when he handed me these flowers to put in the makeshift vase: a ginger ale bottle.

The above picture is the lovely little house I had the pleasure of staying in this week.

Hawley out

Anxiety

Since I’ve been in Providence I have seen many friends leave to other schools, I was always one to wonder why they choose to attend school here and just pick up and leave mid school year. Sometimes I wouldn’t know about someone transferring until the school year started or I just stop seeing them altogether. But, I know now, that unlike me, they chose to not be unhappy anymore. Sometimes you realize a bit late how deep you are into something, and you don’t really have the option of starting over somewhere else. My first year of college was so great, I had so much fun and although there were some questionable times, where I debated my stay here, everything flowed together into a continuos learning experience that I found to be quite enjoyable. I remember that desperate feeling I use to get when I was home on break, the urge to come back and see my friends here in college. Now when I go back on break it feels as though the days spent home just fly by,it’s getting harder to come back each time. The difference between this year and last is my new living situation. I’m currently living with my friends from last year but everything is not what I had dreamed it would be. It turns out I am the clean one of the house and although in the beginning cleaning up after other people was no big deal it became obvious I was being taken advantage of. Now when I clean, my roommates indulge in the fresh atmosphere provided by your’s truly and the rest of the apartment remains uncleaned. Im so frustrated and every outsider I talk to tells me to speak up and let them know how I feel, I can bring myself to do so. Now I’m thinking that it’s time I start looking at alternatives like changing schools or making new friends, both which I find quite hard to do.

re-discovering somethings

This will be my second year living in Providence and to be honest I haven’t put enough effort to enjoy everything it has to offer. Today I thought I would go to the RISD museum of art with a friend and although I’ve been there once before, I thought I should go and enjoy it in a different way than the first. I realized two things, the people you are with make your experience that much better and perceptions change.

I also noticed the people that were alone at the museum, and I realized that I shouldn’t be afraid of doing things on my own too. I shouldn’t feel alone because I don’t have constant companion, I have the world around me. I admire people that are fine without company,it’s something I’ve struggled to feel comfortable with so I decided I would take myself out for coffee tomorrow and visit the public library.
xx Jess

Good Morning

Just walked my dog,Mickey, for half an hour and I’m currently setting a list of things to do today which includes a bit shopping, organizing and packing! 

xx Jess

The Beginning

Amanda Hawley and I (Jessica) are two girls with tons of appreciation for art,books,and hot drinks.
Our “thing” is going into coffee shops and ordering something different every time, writing lists and poems and stories, reading good books,and always getting inspired by art and photography. We aspire to be the people we want to meet. This year we will venture on to new paths; returning to college,moving out, and picking up habits/hobbies we used to love. This is our inspiration,our goals, and maybe we’ll influence you too.